Just a few days ago, I spoke with him, was running through the forest with his dog. Not too long ago, I was sitting at the table with my youngest, with him and his wife, eating and having wine. Now he is gone. Rationally, I understand it, but emotionally it is very hard to accept that I will never see him again.

I knew him the way you know a good neighbor. I heard his life story, followed the developments in his family, observed his perfectionism during the building of his house, and asked for his help when I was short of a man around the house. For example, I couldn’t open the cap of the AdBlue tank on my car. To him, it was a trivial matter.

Since last year, we’ve known that he had only weeks, maybe days left. But that doesn’t mean you can truly prepare for the day when he’s no longer here.

We have outsourced death. Although most people wish to die at home, only a fraction of our society manages to do so. The neighbor succeeded, thanks to the training, experience, and the endless work of his wife – a nurse with intensive care experience. During this time, she lost almost 10 kilos. Death is no longer natural in our society. We see and hear about it multiple times a day in the news, but it’s like watching a film. Far away, not real. Death has become sterile in our society, and it seems as though it doesn’t affect us personally.

I remember traveling in eastern Slovakia and being amazed at how differently death is approached. Wallets would reveal photos of the deceased, who looked like they were sleeping, proudly displayed in beautiful surroundings. I know how they used to keep vigil over the dead, who very often died at home. I still remember the farewell rituals. But perhaps this also has to do with our lack of faith. If there’s nothing after death, then death is tragic because everything ends in an instant. If you believe that the soul moves to another (and perhaps much better) world, it’s easier to let go, because it’s possible to see them again.

The cemeteries in Europe are beginning to empty. As far as I know, the neighbor didn’t want to be buried in a cemetery either. I discussed the subject with my parents and know where they want to be buried. As for me, I can’t yet give a final answer to this question. However, I can’t fulfill my mother’s wish to be buried in her grave alongside her. I too now find cemeteries confining, although I like to visit them wherever I am. I love thinking about the people that I don’t know and their stories. I love the peace and tranquility of the place. I’m glad to be confronted with my own finiteness there and to reflect on what is worth spending time on this Earth for and what, because of this finiteness, is a waste of time.

The neighbor has passed away. I will miss him. He always helped wherever he could. I wish him good luck on his next journey. I wish his wife a lot of strength for the time without him.