I have hardly any keys. Today’s human being has a badge. Usually this is a plastic card with the own name on it. At home I have a significant collection of badges, since when I visit one of my clients I often receive a visitor badge. I clip the badge to my trousers and forget it immediately. When I then leave the client, only few people remind me to return the badge and I also do not always think of it. I resolve to return the badge at the next visit but this I also forget most of the times. Consequently my involuntary badge collection is growing.

For the office I also have a badge. On it my name and a photo. Nothing else. But it is more than just a plastic ID card. In our building the badge serves as a key. And we have countless doors. If I go for a coffee, go to the garage, would like to visit colleagues in other parts of the building, I always need my badge. One can even pay with it in the canteen and also the copy machine asks for it in order to work. Without badge on is nothing!

As long as I am wearing trousers or a skirt, the badge does not cause any problems. I clip it to the trouser waistband. But troubles start, if I am wearing a dress. Where to I clip the badge? To the tights? To my underwear? Not exactly practical and comfortable. I usually carry it in my hand and as I hardly ever wear a dress, the situation does not happen too often, but if yes, then with negative consequences.

On Monday I was wearing a great dress. As it had two wide pockets, I could clip the badge to the right one. Then I got up from my chair in the office and wanted to leave. I felt that something was pulling on the pocket and something flapped away. I looked around. Yes, the badge was gone. In theory it should not be so difficult to find it in my small office. But I was mistaken. The badge had disappeared. I took the bin apart, searched all papers on my desk, I climbed on the desk and looked around the standard lamp – nothing. Then I search the various cable openings in the floor – again nothing. My office a black hole? My badge is gone!! I am badge-less = a nothing, not allowed entering the building, I cannot print…

A lost badge costs CHF 30. The amount does not upset me but the fact that the disappearance is against all laws of physics known to me. After two days I surrendered and ordered a new badge. The same afternoon I found the old one. It was wrapped around the leg of my chair and thus invisible from above. By chance I felt it with my hand, when I was about to adjust the back of the chair.

Great that the laws of physics known to me still work; however it is misogynist that there are no better possibilities to fix the badge on dresses. On the other hand, I would not want to have a microchip under the skin! 🙂